Precious Last Moments

I've been thinking a lot these days about how our baby years are soon going to be over.  It is a good place to be in, to be so immensely aware of how precious and brief the baby years are (and it does make me quite SAD as well).  This year we've had many firsts with Lillyana, while simultaneously having many lasts.

If truth be told, I love having a baby.  If this is a shock to you, I have to say that it has been a bit of a shock to me as well.  I REALLY thought I was done with the whole "baby stage" of life, but now I can honestly say that I'm enjoying every moment of it.  I loved having our other babies as well (Bella, Matteus, and Kody beginning at 7 months), but there is something about this time around that is making it that much more precious.

I think it is because I KNOW it is for sure our last baby.  We will never have another precious baby girl or baby boy, to snuggle on and cuddle all day long ... and so I'm trying to eat up every single moment.

I'm also older and "maturer" now (LOL), but really on some levels that is true.  I am more deeply aware of the gift and miracle of life (either through biological birth or adoption), and that makes me appreciate every moment that much more.  I am also more profoundly aware of how quick life goes by, and how quickly our babies actually do grow up.  With that comes also a real and tangible understanding of how the struggles that come alongside child development (you know the sleepless nights for example) are all for the most part in actuality short phases and so I need to make sure I view them as such.

My other reality is that I'm growing older, and that my child rearing years are numbered.  That might sound dramatic, but that is not at all my intent.  I'm two years away from forty, which makes me 12 years away from fifty.  Sigh, WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  The older I get, the more I realize how short life is and how every day is truly a gift.  In about ten years our once sweet baby, Isabella, will be twenty years old.  Sigh, wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want to live each day without regrets.  Which is quite honestly on some days, as the mom of seven precious jewels all under the age of ten, a struggle.  This being said, this is still my heart's desire and life goal.  I want to live a life of purpose and passion.  I want to be someone who "carpe diems," and makes the most of every moment.

On most days, these days, my carpe diem moments are found in the sweet giggles of our sweet seven month old Lillyana as she sits in my arms, or in the spontaneous cuddles from our sweet Jase, or in the big grin and break out dancing of our sweet Kody, or in the big 3rd time in a row kiss on my lips from our sweet Matteus, or in the side hug of our sweet Ella as she walks right beside me, or in the holdings of hands with our sweet Faith, or in the stealing of hugs from our sweet Bella whenever I can ... all in the midst of changing diapersssssss, getting meals ready, sweeping the floor, putting band aids on, loading the dishwasher, doing the laundry, getting backpacks ready, tying shoe laces, helping with homework, reading stories and so forth ... 

This week is spring break and so in an attempt to make the most of every day, the kids and I ventured out on an adventure today (yep, just me and our seven precious jewels).  I did not have a plan for the day, but instead just took each moment as it came.  We started out at Target (we needed laundry detergent as well as some other items).  Then we headed to The Jump Zone (I think it is called), where the kids literally jumped (and played) for two hours straight (we also had lunch here, a lunch I had packed earlier).    Afterwards, we headed to Boulevard Park.  By this point the sky was blue and the sun was out in it's full glory (a first all week), so I just couldn't resist going to my favorite trail where you can see the ocean every step you take.  I had scooters and helmets with me for our oldest five, and the double stroller for our two babies (both of who took a nap while the rest of us walked/scooted into Fairhaven).  We finished our time at Boulevard by playing at one of the beachy parts, the kids finding all sorts of beach treasures.  At this point it was almost four and so we headed home ...

On days like today it is easy for me to feel like I am living a life of carpe diem (by the way, in case you are wondering - ALL of the kids did amazing on our adventure).  On other days, when I'm navigating homework, dinner, bottles, tantrums, and stinky diapers all within an hour time frame -- it is a bit harder (to say the least).  However, regardless of what is going on around me ... I soooooo want to have an eternal focus.  Life here on earth is short and every moment is a gift.  So for now I especially am enjoying all of the precious moments with our sweet baby girl -- as I know all too well, that very soon she will no longer be a baby -- and really that with what will feel like a snap of my finger, she'll be all grown up.

Dear Jesus, thank you for babies.

Dear Jesus, thank you for the miracle of life.

Dear Jesus, thank you for the gift of life.

Dear Jesus, help me to fully enjoy and make the most of each moment on this side of eternity.