I wanted to share this GREAT resource with all of you, that was shared with me from TCU.
This is a great resource if you want to explore your own adult attachment style (as I talked about last week). It does not use the same clinical terms as in the AAI, but it is foundationally built on the same principles. I have briefly checked out their website, and I am going to buy both the parenting book and the couple book as they seem like great resources. I would LOVE to get trained in administering the AAI, just to be a resource for families. I'm going to do some research and see if there is anyone locally trained in administering the AAI.
Again, like I said last week, I would highly recommend for ANYONE to explore their adult attachment style for themselves, but especially for all of us that are parents, and even more especially for all of us that are adoptive parents. If that made sense =)
All of our kids, adopted or not, need us to be fully present with them as we parent them. Our adopted kids as a result of their trauma, need us that much more to be present with them. MORE LIKELY if your parents attachment style was not securely attached, you will MORE LIKELY have some of those traits and ways of relating yourself (sometimes dominantly and and sometimes not). That is unless you have highly processed and worked through your growing up years, which a lot of people have. At the end of the day the reality is that we are all flawed human beings, including our parents and so there were will be negative elements to our growing up years (sometimes minor ones and sometimes major ones). In order for us to be fully emotionally available to our kids, husbands, friends, co-workers AND in order for us to be fully who God intended us to be (securely attached adults who yes are still flawed) we need to look at how our past (the good and bad) has impacted us. For many people, other relationships in their lives (especially the marriage relationship and their relationship with God) will provide what was not provided as a child.
Someone said to me years ago that if we were perfect parents then our children would never know how desperately they need God. I love that. It makes me feel better in those moments when I completely fail as a parent. I don't take that to the extreme though. I WANT TO BE THE BEST PARENT I CAN POSSIBLY BE FOR MY KIDS. With that I know my own human flawedness and I KNOW I will make mistakes along the way. I want to though, start with my best foot forward, on a solid ground. Unless we openly and honestly look at our past and how it impacts us, it is impossible for to put our best foot forward, as we'll be on a shaky ground.
Like I shared last week, I had some new insight into my own adult attachment style AND I have an undergraduate degree in Psychology and Human Services and a clinical degree in MSW which MEANS and the reason that I point that ous, is that I've had course upon course where they have required (forced us to) LOOK at our past!!! Thankfully it was insightful and helpful, but not life shattering!! It will however help me more so be the mom, wife, friend, sister, daughter, and co-worker I was intended to be! That is my heart, to fully CARPE DIEM in ALL that God puts in front of me!
THANK YOU JESUS for what you are doing through the TBRI team through TCU, it is LIFE GIVING and I SEE your hand of anointing all over it.
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