Today we learned how to do a partial adult attachment assessment. I'm stoked about this, as I wrote yesterday that I think this is a missing piece of the homestudy process. I'm going to start implementing some of the questions into the autobiography section of my homestudy packet. Being fully trained on this requires some extensive training, which I don't think I could do at this point and time in my life (although I would LOVE to) but they did teach us enough that all of us at the training could all start implementing components of it.
I'm also going to do it on Sam when I get home, so we can both really look at our own adult attachment style. I had one done on me by TCU before even coming to the training which had one surprising element which I won't fully share on here. It has however given me new insights into me, insights which surprised me initially but now makes total sense.
I got the results today.
I have done SO MANY courses on self-reflection and assessment at the graduate and undergraduate level that I didn't think I had anything that I had not fully processed - which I did.
I encourage ALL parents, and especially ALL adoptive parents to look at your attachment style. The way your parents attached to you has had a profound impact on the way you attach to your children. All of our children need us to have a secure base (even if an earned secure base) to give them what they need for their own healthy attachment and consequential confidence (stated simply) later on in life.
I'm going to be so bold to say that more likely if you are an adoptive parent there is some unresolved stuff from your past, and based on what we learned today it (stated simply) probably involves you idealizing elements of your growing up which has resulted in you unknowingly keeping a bit of a distance from others close to you (including your kids, bio or adopted), to protect yourself.
IF you are an adoption homestudy provider, an adoption agency, a therapist, an adoptive parent ... do some research into adult attachment styles ... and let's all start making them a required process of the adoption homestudy process, adoption education process, and part of the counseling process for families and children.
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