Tomorrow I board a plane ... again. Sigh!
I would have to say my heart will be doing it grudgingly.
I'm feeling a bit like a bad mom.
Yet at the same time I KNOW that God has ordained this training for me.
I also KNOW that God has my kids in the palm of His hands, especially my baby girl (who is now 8 months old. I took LOTS of pictures of her this week, I thought I would share a couple).
I'm going to a 5 day training in Texas at TCU by Dr. Karen Purvis on TBRI. Throughout the last 10 weeks I have already learned and re-learned so much that applies both professionally and personally, so I KNOW that the next 5 days will be beyond awesome on that level. STILL, my heart would honestly rather stay at home and cuddle my baby. It often seems like God asks us to do exactly the things we don't want to do, at least it feels like that for me.
I ran into a mom today at the park who I've worked with through my role as a counselor, because of her foster son. She was excited for me to go, and was excited about the impact it would have on my role as school counselor. It was totally confirming to run into her today ... I can't remember the last time I ran into her (if ever outside of school).
We talked a bit about the hesitancy (okay the clench holding onto fight) that some parents have when it comes to changing their parenting, from correcting to connecting. We talked about how it is imperative for kids with trauma, for THEIR PARENTS TO CHANGE. Some parents think it is their child that needs to change, when quite honestly it often is the parents (although yes sometimes the child is the one who also needs to change, or the one who needs to change). Trauma is a powerful thing and it's impact on the brain is beyond significant. I wish we as a culture would recognize it's impact on a larger scale, not just with adopted and foster kiddos ... as their are many kiddos who I've worked who are still with their bio family who have high amounts of trauma. If all of the institutions that serve children were in alignment on it's impact, teaching and serving kids within the scope of the impact of the trauma, it would be AMAZING and HEALING for all of the little jewels walking around with trauma.
So yes I'm supposed to board that plane for Texas tomorrow.
But my heart is sad about it.
My hubby and kids aren't too thrilled about it.
THANK YOU JESUS that you meet us EXACTLY where we are at, and that you provide the courage and protection to do the things you ask us to.
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