Last week was AMAZING!
The whole training (including all of the home readings and assignments) was AMAZING!!
I was on a scholarship, but quite honestly if I had to have paid for it - it would have been worth it!
It has got me thinking ... and it has gotten me even that much more passionate about the NEED for families to enter into adoptions with their EYES WIDE OPEN!!
And simultaneously it has BROKEN MY HEART for those precious jewels that are entering into families who are not ready to parent them - either because of their own "stuff," their lack of education, or their unwillingness to change their parenting and life.
Adopted kids have TRAUMA, whether they are adopted as infants, toddlers, or older kids. Traditional parenting techniques will NOT work. Children of ANY age being adopted NEED their families to cacoon, they need them to invest their lives into them from day one. No one else should be holding your child, cuddling your child, feeding your child, changing them, being intimate with them (if that makes sense) other than the PARENTS for the first few months on a minimum (including older siblings) AND you should only be doing work and home for a few months on a minimum (it could be much longer in some cases). AND your child should not be involved in any activities.
I honestly could scream when I SEE families not doing this. You can see I'm being quite bold today, and also that I'm stirred up. I can understand families a few years back not being prepared to parent adopted kids, but honestly today in 2012 with ALL OF THE INFORMATION out there ... I don't get it.
Being around a lot of other adoption professionals/counselors/social workers last week it seems though that there is still a GAP in the education piece. I personally KNOW though that even the best education will not prepare some families as they think they can parent their new kids just like they parented their old (biological kids). To that I want to say, "nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Then there are some social workers and agencies who are STILL not doing their part, and are NOT educating families. SERIOUSLY???????????????? I don't get it!!!
And you all know that I'm one of the BIGGEST advocates for adoption, but honestly I think families that are not willing to CHANGE their lives and first caccoon and invest their lives into their new little (or old ones), take a honest look at their own "stuff," and then simultaneously change their parenting and life should NOT be adopting. (Notice I said nothing about being a perfect person or a perfect parent; an educated and informed humble willing heart is a needed "perfect" start. The adoption attachment and adjustment journey is potentially inherently difficult in itself even with the willing and educated parent). I also think those agencies AND social workers that are not educating their families, should either be stepping up or stepping out.
We are talking about PRECIOUS lives, the lives of precious orphans and/or children who deserve ALL of our best as they are already on their second best plan as a result of major loss and tragic events in the lives of their birth families.
If any of us gave birth to special needs kids we would change our world upside down, travel to the moon and back, and fight a whole army if we needed to ... to meet the needs of our new child. Our adopted children need the EXACT SAME from us = which means we need to educate ourselves, prepare ourselves, and change ourselves!!!!
Here is SOME INFORMATION for professionals out there!!! If you are working with kids with trauma, this training WILL be well worth your time and money! It will be an investment you will not regret!!
| Advanced-level training is designed for professionals with comprehensive knowledge and background in working with at-risk children and families. | |
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