I often get asked how I do it, as a working mom of five sweet little jewels! Honestly, some days I do it well (and it really is "easy") and on other days I fall flat on my face and I don't do it so well.
I would like to think that I live my life with hands held up high wide open, my hands reflecting my heart of total surrender to my Creator. The truth is though that on some days my hands might be up but they are not open, and on other days they are grasping to hold on to anything so I don't have to lift them up.
I don't know if that makes sense. For me it represents my own desire to have "control" over my life. You would think that by now I would have fully learned to trust my Father's plans, the truth is that my human flesh in me still wages war and at times my desire to have control takes over my heart.
This past Wednesday was one of those days. Our furnace went out and the bill was close to a couple of thousand dollars, and honestly it did me in. We are near the end of bringing Jase home which means that it is financial crunch time ... bills for which we do not have payment for will soon be due. So when the furnace went out and my financial "plans" for the next few months went out the window, along with any control I had left over our finances ... I went a bit over the edge.
I know I've had a lot going on these last few months, and I know I have a lot of on my plate ... I do ... but often my heart struggles are rooted in what I think is my need to control my life.
You would think that day 8 1/2 years ago when the most amazing baby girl was placed in my arms, me having to completely trust my Father's plans for literally every single detail of my life as we had prepared NOTHING to be parents, nor to adopt (imagine every single paperwork and financial detail) would be at the forefront of my heart.
The reality is that sometimes life just gets so "busy" and "packed" that my heart needs to be reminded of who I serve ... the Creator of the Universe who can do anything, and who has full AUTHORITY over every situation!
Jase will be home SOON I just know it! Although I don't know exactly when "soon" will be! We got our I-800 approval this past week and now we are waiting for our letter from the National Visa Center! I am so STOKED that God has already figured out all of the rest of the details that need to happen for Jase to come home! Yipppeeeeee!
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