God has been reminding me a lot these last couple of days of one of Dr. Purvis's extremely helpful quotes. Dr. Purvis talks about how parents need to keep in mind that when parenting a child from hard places that, "It is you and your child against their history, and not you against your child."
I think that is a good approach to not only parenting adopted children, but really to parenting all children. The reality is though that for some of our precious adopted jewels, this truth we at times need to be so intentional in making sure is not only an important truth but an actual reality.
I have times when I need to remind myself of that. I have times where I really do feel like my heart is battling my child's heart, which is not effective at all ... nor is it my heart's desire. A few of our precious jewels come with an enormous amount of trauma in their past, and although they are all overall doing so well and we are not in the midst of any major attachment processes at our house - there are still moments and times where the neurochemistry of fear takes over for some of my precious jewels. And it is in those moments of break downs, that I need to make sure that my heart does not get involved with their "stuff," and that I keep the perspective of that I need to link hearts with my child and help them fight against and overcome their trauma histories.
What a hugely powerful and empowering approach.
I also love the truth that God has given EACH one of our children to us as a SACRED GIFT. When I keep that in mind, it also so completely softens my heart and helps me parent with patience, gentleness, and grace.
I love this picture of Kody and Lillyana. Kody soooooooooooooooo adores Lillyana, and I have to say that Lillyana loves her brother so completely back. I cant' remember I time that I've ever seen the two frustrated with each other, they truly so love each other. What a GIFT to watch their relationship from day one.
Thank you Jesus for your truths when it comes to relationships, and especially parenting. Thank you for that you parent me with such love, grace, and gentleness. Help me to parent my children in that same way. Thank you for the sacred gift of each one of our children, I feel so blessed by you through each one of them.
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