I'm in Ghana!

The internet connection is slow ... so I'll see if this post even makes it (AOL is slow too, sorry if anyone has e-mailed)! I had some sweet pictures I wanted to share, but I can't get them to upload! I will try again later!

************

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M IN GHANA!!!!!!!

I can't believe I just spent the day hanging out with our fabelous new daughter!

I can't believe she is our daughter!

It all honestly is still SO SURREAL to me!

******************

I'm trying to SO live in the moment ... to FULLY CARPE DIEM ... as in 4 days I will already be heading home! The time here already feels like it will be too short!! I'm not sure how to prepare my heart for leaving Ella, although quite honestly I think no matter how much I prepare it will still be TERRIBLY hard!

******************

I can already see one reason as to why I was to make this trip ... Ella remembers me from my time with her in August, and so she pretty quickly felt safe with me and it even seems like she already trusts me (at least a little - SO AWESOME)!! When she saw me yesturday for the first time at Beacon House, she RAN up to me and immediately wanted up! I think I carried her for most of my short visit yesturday, her telling the other kids "this is my mum!" She also yesturday thought she was coming with me, and when she realized that she was not she started crying! I thought I had already explained to her that she was not and I thought she understood but she obviously did not! What heart break! I asked her wonderful nanny to keep explaining to her that I'm only here for a short visit, and that then I would have to leave and she would have to stay (just like M's mom who was recently in Ghana)!! The explanation seemed to help as today when I dropped her off, she did wonderfully! I did tell Heidi that if Ella thought she was leaving yesturday to come HOME, boy was she READY, she had absolutely NO hesitations!!

********************

So today I got to spend most of the day with our wonderful new daughter, hanging out at amazing Heidi and George's house! My new daughter impresses and inspires me with her courage, love, and joyful spirit!

*****************************

Heidi & George have a pool and just the sight of it made Ella hold ON TIGHT, her also verbally objecting to going in. SO I just held her and we watched the pool for a bit. I then in small incrament steps, only when I could tell she was fully okay with it would move closer to the pool, then I sat at the edge of the pool with her on my lap, then she put her feet in and eventually she went in and she had a BLAST!! We splashed, jumped, played, and had a great time! She laughed and giggled, and laughed and giggled, and laughed and giggled some more!

**********************

We had lunch together and a few different snacks together, and the food that she enjoyed the best she wanted to share with me and I let her!! One of her favorite things to have today was WATER!! Yep, plain water!!!!!! She was so thrilled when I gave her her own water bottle!!

***********************

She also got to talk on the phone with daddy, Bella, Faith & Matteus ... which SOO blessed my heart! The kids and Sam would talk to her - and she would mostly smile and laugh! Although she did answer some of Sam's questions - soooooooo precious and a gift!! (Bella, Faith, Matteus, Kody & daddy - mommy LOVES YOU AND MISSES YOU)!!!

**********************

And the other reason why I think I needed to come is because it now is clear in my mind that BOTH Sam & I need to travel to bring Ella home!! I'm not sure how we will swing it financially or with our kids - but I think it is really important!

********************

Okay, I'm completely tired & I'm feeling like this post is a bit all over the place ...

One last thing, we got a full adoption order (I know only some of you will understand how AWESOME this)!!! I will explain when I get home ... THANK YOU JESUS for this!!!!!!!!!

THANK YOU JESUS for my time so far in Ghana!!

THANK YOU to all of you who are praying, I can feel your prayers!