This past year my Heavenly Father gave me 2 pictures to speak TRUTH into my life ... For differerent reasons my brain and heart still have a hard time fully comprehending God's unconditional and passionate love for ME!!!One of these pictures came through every day activities and routines, and the other picture came through enormous heart ache and fully leaning on Jesus ...
Kody truly is such a happy guy,who delights in loving us!! Sometimes just the sight of me (or his daddy, or sibling) will in return bring about squeals and laughter of joy!! He could have seen me 5 seconds previously, yet still his reaction is enormous and like he hasn't seen me for days!! So on one of these very normal and ordinary days, we had just come back from driving Bella to school and I opened the car door to where he sits to take him out ... and the biggest smile emerged, eyes directly at me, then followed by sequeals of pure delight ...
My brain was thinking about all of the things I needed to accomplish that day ... and in that moment God whispered ... "Maria, this is how I feel about you! I DELIGHT IN YOU!"
That is such an awesome picture to me ... so in the eyes of my sweet new son, I am daily reminded of how I am unconditionally loved and cherished by the Creator of the Universe!
The other picture came in the middle of one of the hardest things I have ever had to walk through, the passport journey to bring Kody HOME!! It was July and we hadn't heard ANYTHING for weeks!! Every day our hearts would eagerly anticipate some kind of news, yet every day it seemed there was only disappointment!! We had gotten to spend time with Kody, and he was already in every sense of the word our son!! My heart missed him terribly and so yearned to have him home!! He was the sweetest little baby, and it was evident that every week he was growing and growing ... and I grieved all of the firsts that I was missing with him!! Getting passports had never been a problem, so our expectations of the process were very unrealistic! My heart felt like it was in a million pieces, and every day I had to FULLY LEAN on Jesus for his strength, peace and joy!!! I so wanted tobe Kody's mommy, I was ready for our precious son to come home!
Well in one of those moments after hours of prayer and some tears God whispered, "Maria, just like you are yearning for Kody, in the same way and more, I yearn for you! I yearn to be YOUR FATHER! Just like your heart is BREAKING, so my heart aches for you!"
WOW ... what a picture, and one that I fully GET!! So these days when I am yearning for Ella, I am once again reminded of God's LOVE for simple old ME!!
Romans 8:38-39 ... For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (NIV Bible)
In 2009 I want to LIVE more IN and out of that LOVE ...
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