God's TIME - NOT mine!!!

Waiting, waiting ... WAITING on the Lord!
In any adoption process waiting is an integral part!
This is something that is always HARD for ME!!

You would think that after 2 international adoptions, I would be an experienced waiter and would not struggle! NOT so, at all!! Although yes I do feel like God's insights from Kody's wait has helped me during Ella's wait ... the waiting part is usually the HARDEST for me!

I honestly was doing "okay" with the wait up until probably the middle of February or so (okay being a word that I'm using loosely - overall I was doing okay - although I had moments or days that my heart struggled)!! And then I started doubting God's PROMISES and truths ... as to me it did NOT make sense as to why I could not go while Heidi & George were still there (Kody's foster family) ... this crept into my heart and became a source of discouragement! To me, February SEEMED like the PERFECT time! It is always amusing to me, AFTERWARDS, that I somehow think that I know what is best - with my very limited earthly perspective - compared to God who SEES the WHOLE picture and truly has my best at heart!!! This is sometimes where God and I differ, in that He is most interested in my heart and the shaping of my heart & character! Yes, this is what I want too -but often my human nature and today's cultural influence of wanting instead what is most convenient and comfortable for ME takes over!!!

Anyhow, all to say that Satan has had some victories in my life ... in my discouragement I believed less in God's perfect TIME and I questioned more!!!

Again, this is now amusing to me (and also VERY humbling) but THANKFULLY (the only word I can come up with, although it does not seem like a strong enough word)... I serve not only the Creator of the Universe, but also my FATHER who LOVES me UNCONDITIONALLY (period)!!! It is times like these that I that much more thankful for GRACE and for God's provision and PLAN!!!

My discouragement lasted a couple of weeks to a few weeks (part of what I think compounded my discouragement was that I have 2 friends who were facing major obstacles and delays in their adoptions)!! About a one & a 1/2 weeks ago the discouragement lifted and I was able to once again FULLY lean on God, even in the middle of my heart ACHE, God's peace once again being my anchor!! God gave me peace regardless of how much LONGER it would take for Ella's passport to be done, my heart was preparing for months longer- which it still could be!!

AND in hindisight ... as PAINFUL as this time was ... it has GROWN my FAITH!!!

Well, last Wednesday God CALLED me to RELENTLESS prayers!!! The day before I felt like He said - "tomorrow you NEED to pray!" I would honestly have to say that it has been a while that God has called me to a whole day of prayer - usually it is moments or hours but not a whole day! Well, without expectation, I was obedient! I prayed for Ella's passport ALL day - that the passport application WOULD surface and they would find it and that Satan's hold on Ella's passport would be BROKEN!!!

I share all of this with you as a way to SING PRAISES to My God who does it all and allows us to be a part of His MIRACLES and His plans!!! I do not think that God works the same way in each one of our lives, that is part of the BEAUTY of our diversity!!! I also think that we are merely His instruments - and that sometimes God calls us to prayer (or action or to be still) and my guess is that the result (if seen) usually has more to do with our HEARTS then anything else (or someone else's hearts)!!

WELL on Thursday of last week we got a CALL - "THEY HAVE FOUND ELLA'S PASSPORT APPLICATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

THANK YOU JESUS for THIS MIRACLE!!!

We have been told that the "current" processing time is about 2 weeks! Ella's passport application has been pulled out of its old process and re-applied under a new one! Hey, that sounds just like me & my process (just a thought)!!

We believe that the new process involves Kofi processing it!!! Your prayers for the STIRRING OF HIS HEART TO ACTION being appreciated!!!

Soooooooooooooooooooo if Ella's passport truly comes in 2 weeks or 2 months ... we PRAISE and TRUST God's TIME and plan for Ella and for us!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THANK YOU GOD for using Romana, Bernard, & Kofi as PART OF YOUR INSTRUMENTS to achieve your plans for YOUR GLORY!!!!!

(IS that not the cutest bunny you have seen :) )