We have been having a little bit of unhealthy competition around our house lately ...
This is a NORMAL part of bringing home a new child - this also sometimes happening with new birth children!
One of our children has been particular jelous of how EASY things are for our new precious daughter, the end result having been competition between the two ... mostly there being competition over me!
This sounds like it could possibly be lovely, two children both wanting your attention and affection & both wanting to please you ... desperately and willing to do anything at their little age to win the other one out to get it! It doesn't sound so lovely anymore does it!
This has also resulted in me taking a step back from the attachment process with our new precious daughter, in order to avoid the conflicts that have followed!!! This is also not lovely ...
So we have been try to be pro-active ... having dates (alone play time with the kids) and extra mom time ... and there has been a lot of conversation about our unconditional love for each one of them ... and there has been positive reinforcement ... and negative consequences!
Just wanted to share honestly ... as the reality of the adoption process is that there are inherent difficulties AND that the attachment is a reciprocal process (and even though yes I adore our new daughter and things are going awesome ... I am still working on attaching to our new sweet daughter ... it might take me a full year(s) for her to be on COMPLETE equal footing as our other kids ... at least this was the case with our amazing Faith) ...
The last couple of weeks have also been a good reminder of that the enemy ALWAYS seeks to divide ... and we always need to make sure that we are ready for his tactics!
We ... I need to make sure I keep my knee pads on ...
This is a NORMAL part of bringing home a new child - this also sometimes happening with new birth children!
One of our children has been particular jelous of how EASY things are for our new precious daughter, the end result having been competition between the two ... mostly there being competition over me!
This sounds like it could possibly be lovely, two children both wanting your attention and affection & both wanting to please you ... desperately and willing to do anything at their little age to win the other one out to get it! It doesn't sound so lovely anymore does it!
This has also resulted in me taking a step back from the attachment process with our new precious daughter, in order to avoid the conflicts that have followed!!! This is also not lovely ...
So we have been try to be pro-active ... having dates (alone play time with the kids) and extra mom time ... and there has been a lot of conversation about our unconditional love for each one of them ... and there has been positive reinforcement ... and negative consequences!
Just wanted to share honestly ... as the reality of the adoption process is that there are inherent difficulties AND that the attachment is a reciprocal process (and even though yes I adore our new daughter and things are going awesome ... I am still working on attaching to our new sweet daughter ... it might take me a full year(s) for her to be on COMPLETE equal footing as our other kids ... at least this was the case with our amazing Faith) ...
The last couple of weeks have also been a good reminder of that the enemy ALWAYS seeks to divide ... and we always need to make sure that we are ready for his tactics!
We ... I need to make sure I keep my knee pads on ...
Comments
By the way, your kids are SOOOOOO cute!