Early morning conversations!

I LOVE the heart of God! He loves me unconditionally & has a PLAN and a PURPOSE for MY life! For each one of us, HIS plans are very different & unique to the way that He created us to be!

I have been struggling with going BACK to work! I LOVED my 14 months off with the kids & a huge part of me wishes God's calling on my life was to be home!

So yesturday while I was driving to Seattle at 5AM in the morning (another story) ... God REMINDED me of HIS PLANS for my life! As I was driving in the dark to an early fingerprinting appt. in Seattle - with my sweet daughter Isabella in the back - I would have to with regret say that I was feeling rather sorry for myself! I was WALLOWING in the fact that after my appointment it was my first "official" day back to work! I was rather pathetic I would have to say ... and in that moment was when God reminded me of HIS PLANS for my life!

He gave me a "little" flashback on the calling that He MADE clear to me 14+ years ago! And He REMINDED me that my life is actually NOT about ME ... but about HIM & what He wants to do through me ... a humbling reminder I would have to say! Why do I so easily go back to making "everything" about me! Icks!

For me, I have ever since I can remember known what I wanted to do when I grew up! I always wanted to in some capacity be HELPING kids! As a teenager I did not know what this looked like, but I knew then that this was part of the way that God had wired my heart!

While at university, 14 years ago, my passions became CLEAR! While in undergraduate school I spent two summers in the inner city of Camden, NJ ... with an AMAZING ministry called Urban Promise (there is a link on my blog)! While there God REPEATEDLY BROKE my heart for the hurting kids in the US!! I knew then with perfect clearity that God had made ME to be in a helping role with at-risk kids, then a dream being developed to be a school social worker/counselor! I met SOOOO many kids & families whose stories and lives still are a part of my heart today ... stories that could keep me up for nights in sobs of sadness!! These two summers SHAPED me for eternity! Through my own broken-ness of what I bore witness to God REVEALED HIS HEART for every single one of the children I met ... and for every child that I still get the priviledge to meet & work with!!

I have spent a lot of time over the last few months praying ... that if God did not want me to go back to work that He would LET ME KNOW! Repeatedly, I have felt the opposite - He HAS been calling me to go back & has been calling me to entrust our 5 jewels to HIM!

I never thought I would be working WITH FIVE precious jewels ...

And so yesturday in the EARLY morning He brought back HIS PLANS for my life & how they have "always" included me working with at-risk kids - I work part-time as a school counselor in a k-5 school ... the 2nd best job in the world to being a mom I think :)

Isabella's biological roots link back to Camden which is such an AMAZING God detail that blows my heart & mind ... as Camden is where God broke my heart and shaped it ... my passion for adoption also becoming chrystal clear then as well (my plans however not including as many adopted kids/or kids in general even as God's did :) ) Anyhow, another long story :)

So my heart & mind are renewed! I am a daughter of the Creator of the Universe & He has created my heart to have several passions AND I am going to trust those passions AND PLANS that I KNOW are HIS! I am EXCITED to see what God is going to do IN me through my working at home this year, and through my working with the kids/staff/parents at school :)

THANK YOU Jesus for the AMAZING life you have blessed me with, for all of the details that YOU have taken care of! THANK YOU Jesus for my job! THANK YOU Jesus for my husband & my kids! THANK YOU Jesus that I get to be a mom AND a school counselor! THANK YOU Jesus for the MANY passions you have given me! I am completely in AWE of YOU!!!!!!!