The sweetest WORDS!

Today Faith said the sweetest thing at dinner time and it took all of everything in me to not be a complete sobbing mess all over her!

We were saying things we were thankful for
and Faith without any prompting,
looked up at me

and with a big genuine smile said,

"I'm thankful you like me and think I'm special,

that I was made in your heart,

and you got me from China!"

Ohhhhhhhhhh JOY to hear those words ... because ...

Faith REALLY meant them!

she truly loves me as her mom

AND she knows that I whole heartedly LOVE HER!

The fact that she KNOWS this and BELIEVES it is no small feat!

And those who have walked any kind of difficult attachment journey will perhaps be the only ones who will understand the depth of the significance of her words!!

For a few seconds the heartaches of the last few years flashed through my mind!

And instead of gently hugging her, what I REALLY wanted to do was to thank her for still loving me and believing in me as her mom, through the many times when I felt like an utter failure as her mom!

As some of our close friends know, and as I have alluded to, our attachment journey with Faith has been DIFFICULT to say the least!!! It was a full 3 year process, Faith has been home for 3 1/2 years now! Truly!!! Although yes there were many BLESSINGS along the way, there was also MANY times of feeling completelely overwhelmed, burned out, frustrated, hopeless, bitter, ... and the list goes on! YEP, I'm being completely honest! So those of you who truly WALKED this journey with me the first year and a half in particular know how what a complete blessing those words are to this mamma's heart!

Just last night I came across one of Faith's referral pictures!

The picture struck me, as do all of her referral pictures!

There is such sadness in her eyes!

Which is actually how God told us that SHE was meant to be our daughter ... I remember distinctly sitting on our living room coach, praying ... as the burden for orphans would not lift and as I knew God was calling us but I was soooooooooooo afraid and so I was asking for CLARITY, for Him to make it CLEAR ... and He said, "what about the little girl with the sad eyes!"

When I talk to Faith about talking WITH God she often asks me "does God talk?" And every time I tell her ... yes he does ... He TOLD us to adopt you!

What JOY in now Faith's happy eyes!

She truly is a JOY!

She truly is a GIFT!

She is our AMAZING little girl ... she is our AMAZING daughter!

And all of the HARD ATTACHMENT/ADJUSTMENT STUFF, I would do it ALL again in a heart beat! AND if you are in the middle of it I would say "keep walking it ... don't give up HOPE!"

THANK YOU Jesus for the GIFT of Faith!
THANK YOU for helping me to take the step of faith to become her forever mom!