This past week brought resolution on the thing that we have been walking! Although it came, it didn't come without tears and the enemy trying to discourage!
The whole last month or so keeps bringing me back to one of my New Year's goals, "I will trust you Jesus!" That was my prayer for 2010, it was how I wanted to live my life FULLY in the little and big things that God brought on my path! Yes, this has always been part of my life goal but at that point for unknown reason yet to me this was HUGELY on my heart!
March then brought to the forefront why I thought God was sooooooooooo impressing on my heart that He wanted me to TRUST HIM! In January I with all of my heart thought we would not be adding any children, and I actually thought 2010 would be a year of recoop emotionally and financially ... thinking that the year would bring no major changes or trips even! Well in March God started to week after week stir my heart for our now son Jase!
Well then in April AFTER we had made the decision to TRUST God and adopt Jase, an unexpected obstacle rose up!! We spent a lot of time praying and asking God for clarity and confirmations on MANY different levels before we moved forward on saying yes Jase would be our son! At the time I didn't know why my heart needed SO MANY confirmations ... although now I can see that in the last month I have had to hold on to all of the confirmations that God gave! Sooo now I can see why my heart soooo needed to hear God in lots of different ways -- I have needed those words in the last month!
China unlike most countries, has income requirements for adoptive families! The income requirements get larger the larger your family! We don't need the full amount of my income for us to live, I work in part because I believe that for me job with at-risk kids is part of my life ministry! It is a passion that God put on my heart when I was just a teenager, about twently plus years ago ... and since then hurting kids is what I have poured my heart into! Our life would be simpler, but we could do it! However we don't meet China's income requirements without my income!!
Sooo the thing that happened in April was on a Tuesday while I was at work I (along with all other district staff) received an e-mail that said counselors would be cut back significantly, so signficantly that because of my lack of seniority (because of always working part-time), I would no longer have a job! You can imagine my shock as I received no heads up! The 24 hours that followed brought information that yes counselors would be cut back, but there was a typo in the e-mail and the cut wouldn't be as big as communicated! However the exact cut was unsure, and it would not be sure for a while! I also the next day found out that I would be receiving a RIF notice, which ended up being a reduction in force letter without the specifics of the reduction!
`
So you can see our obstacle was VERY signficant! And the FIRST thing that crushed my heart and overwhelmed my heart was, "DID WE HEAR GOD WRONG?? IS JASE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE OUR SON?"
My concerns were not for my job per say (although I do LOVE IT) nor for the income that it brought, EXCEPT how it pertained to Jase!!! I have lived through enough things that I know that God WILL TAKE CARE OF US ... even if it at times is not the way we expect!! My concern was what were we supposed to do with our adoption!! Should we put it on hold, or should we even say anything and just keep moving forward!
Well we heard God clearly say, "KEEP MOVING forward, TRUST ME!" So we did this! Although I would have to say that it took a lot of intentional energy and talking with God on my part, at times this came easy, and at times it was excruciating!
I also have to say that I have an amazing boss, who even prayed for me over my RIF letter ... what a GIFT that prayer was!
So this past Monday the board made their decision and on Thursday I received a letter saying that I would be reinstated at the full FTE I was at before --- no cut in my hours at all! I actually think that I might even have to pick up a few extra hours (still to be worked out)!
I don't fully understand how the enemy works ... how the spiritual realm works! However through my own life experiences it seems to me that the enemy brings obstacles/discouragement and so forth and God allows it! The difference is though that I don't believe that the enemy gets to see the BIG PICTURE, he does not get to see the ways that our Creator and King works out the details! He also does not know us the way our Creator does, our Creator knows what we can handle! He also does not get to see that yes these things that he throws our way might throw us off for a little bit or sometimes for a while, in the end God is VICTORIOUS and GLORIFIED!! The enemy does not realize that for me ... I will never stop trusting or PRAISING!!! My faith is in my Creator and not in the things of this world! Don't get me wrong I DO question and I DO at times get discouraged ... but my ultimate heart is for my King!
On Monday ... after a month or so of holding on and trusting ... the first e-mail that was sent out regarding budget decisions again had a typo! It said that no decisions had been made regarding counselors! NOW it makes me kind of laugh --- the typos all seem to be targeted at me (I don't mean directly by anyone within the district)! You can imagine my heart break -- and after some phone calls and e-mails, the mistake was corrected! SIGH!!
Ohhh AND at the beginning of this week our homestudy was released and filed with USCIS!! Our clearance from Canada finally came!! YIPPEEEE!!! WOWSERS!!
THANK YOU JESUS for having ALL of the details of our lives taken care of! THANK YOU for that WHEN you call us to something, you provide for our needs!!
Comments
Love,
Carrie