Traveling

At least once a day I'm being asked if I am excited about going to China.  Quite honestly, I am EXCITED to meet Jase, I am EXCITED to bring Jase home ... I am not excited to leave my hubby and kids for two weeks.  I just am not, there is no way of getting around it.

I also so wish Sam was going with me as it would make the trip so much easier (amongst many other reasons), but that is clearly not meant to be either.

In one week and three days I will be boarding a plane, heading first to Beijing (China), and then on to Kunming, the city where our son has been living for the first year and a half (or so) of his life.  Surreal, is a good word to describe how I feel when I think about it.

I have been through this before so I am fully aware of the awesome, the bad, and the ugly when it comes to bringing home new children.  I am fully aware that Jase will grieve when he is handed off to me, a complete stranger.  Jase will have no clue that I am his mommy and that for the last almost year I have thought about him every single day, and have prayed too many prayers too count ...  for him.  Jase will not know that I am safe, that I will not leave him, and that I will love him unconditionally.  Can you imagine being handed to a complete stranger who does not speak your language, and then you have to rely on this stranger for everything.  There will be the awesome, the bad, and the ugly ... I am fully confident.  I also know that the latter two might be more about me, than Jase ... or not!

The other that I know too is that my Father is right now preparing Jase's heart for the big journey that will soon completely change his entire life.  I also know that my Father will protect Jase's heart in the middle of the trauma and transition that will soon dominate his little life.

I KNOW all of this will be a part of my next few weeks ... yet at the same time I can't wait to hold our new son.  I can't wait to bring Jase home and for him to meet his daddy.  I can't wait for Jase to come home and meet his sisters and brothers, who I know already love him.

It was the CUTEST thing the other day.  I was talking with the kids about me going to China and Kody said, "thank you mom."  When I asked Kody what he was thankful for, his response was ... "for bringing Jase to my room."  How completely sweet and adorable is that.

I have also had a lot of questions about how I think Kody will do with Jase.  I am fully confident that Kody will do awesome.  I believe strongly that last summer God binded Kody's heart with Jase.  Since last summer, Kody has talked about Jase all the time.  And the way he has talked about Jase, is evident of a connection that only God could create.

My friends and family threw me a shower this past weekend where I was SOOOOOO SHOWERED WITH LOVE AND BLESSINGS.  Honestly, I feel sooo completely blessed and humbled.  God has truly surrounded me with amazing women, friends, and family who support Sam and I with such love and encouragement.  

God has blessed me beyond my wildest dreams in my life, and I trust Him completely as I embark on this new adventure and phase of our life ... of going to a family of EIGHT (oh WOW, that is a big number)  =)