Please PRAY!

My heart is a heavy.  Tomorrow is Jase's BIG SURGERY day, and I have to say this mamma's heart feels like it could break!  I think about our little Jase and all that he will go through in the next few weeks, and it honestly brings tears to my eyes.  It doesn't seem fair that such a precious little one has to endure soooo much.

Jase's surgery is tomorrow Thursday July 14th at 11:30 at Children's in Seattle (an amazing hospital).  Jase's day will start off rough as he can't eat anything past 4:30AM, he can only drink clear liquids at that point until 8:30AM.  Jase is only two, he will not be able to understand the really good reasons as to why we can not give him anything to eat or drink.  It is a 2-2.5 hour drive to the hospital from our house, it will make for a tricky morning of balancing him not being able to eat or drink.

They have told us that the surgery will take about 5 hours ...

They have told us that Jase will have to on a minimum stay at Children's until Saturday ...

They have told us that Jase WILL be in a LOT of pain and that a key will be managing his pain ...

They have told us that he can only seat soft (non-chewable foods) for the first 2 weeks ...

They have told us that he cannot do anything active for 4-6 weeks ...

The thing that really GETS my heart is the PAIN that I know he is going to endure, and there is really nothing that I CAN do to prepare him, or to make it go away!

Jase is having cleft AND palette surgery!  The plan is for the amazing surgeon to do ALL of the work that would normally have been done up until this point had Jase been born in the USA ... which we are soooooooooooooo thankful for!

Please PRAY FOR OUR JASE!  Please pray for his little heart during all of what he is going to have to endure!  Pray that he feels the love and peace of our Creator and Father, and that God would give us the discernement as to the best way to comfort and protect Jase, physically with his pain, emotionally with all that he will endure and how he won't understand, and spiritually that his heart will be protected during this time!

I think about my life ONE year ago ... we had just started the paperchase for our Jase and quite honestly I entered into the adoption of Jase more because of obedience than because of sheer joy!  I did not know how we would parent ONE more child, being that our plate was already SO full!  I also did not know how Jase would do in terms of attachment and transition, and this brought many fears to the surface as I am VERY aware of the realities of the difficulties inherent in ANY adoption journey!  So a year ago we were moving forward with our adoption process, COMPLETELY TRUSTING God EACH STEP of the way, and completely trusting Him to give us the courage and strength to take each step as it came!  If you are wondering why we kept moving forward with my hesitations (Sam didn't have as many) ... God had made it CLEAR that Jase WAS to be our son and I KNEW that and that is what kept me moving forward!  And God has given BOTH of us a passion for adoption, despite the good, bad, and ugly ... so to speak!  We believe in the VALUE and GIFT of children, whether born to us biologically or not!  We believe in God's heart to care for the orphan and widows as He talks about in James 1:27, and we share His heart!  I could go on and on, but I think you get the idea!

Now ... HONESTLY ... a year later ... I want to SHOUT IT OUT LOUD for everyone to hear, "I AM THE MOM TO THE MOST AMAZING TWO YEAR OLD LITTLE BOY IN THE UNIVERSE!"  I am so completely in love with Jase, his heart is molded with mine, and mine is molded with his!  I know it doesn't always work out this way (it has NOT been this way every time we've adopted), but in this case God took care of all of my fears and NONE became reality!  I am tickled BLUE by our precious new son, no over exaggeration!

Jase is such a good visual picture to me of the LOVE that our Creator has for each one of us, and how much He adores us and wants to call us HIS own!  I know how MUCH I love Jase, and truly how I did instantly, and how I would do ANYTHING for him.  Well God's love for us is even greater than that ... honestly, my heart cannot fully comprehend how that is possible!

Jase is my son, with every meaning of that word!!!  AND he has only been my son for 4.5 months, it FEELS like he has ALWAYS been my son!  That is a GIFT I realize, as the attachment journey sometimes can take years ... 

People often get taken back by the fact that we have SIX, almost SEVEN children.  The thing is we don't see it that way.  To us, we have "Isabella, Faith, Matteus, Ella, Kody, and Jase."  They are not a number, but are precious little souls, precious little gifts, and precious little jewels that we have been given the sacred privilege of being entrusted with!

Jase is such a HAPPY LOVING little guy, and "my fear" is that what he is going to have to endure has the potential of taking some of this away.  This is another fear that I am FULLY TRUSTING to my Father!  PLEASE PRAY WITH US for our little Jase for the next TWO-SIX WEEKS!  Please pray that Jase will know that He is SOOO LOVED, regardless of his pain and circumstance, pray that he will know he is loved by us and by His Creator!!!

All the pictures are from the last week, yep I LOVE to take pictures =)  Do you notice the "twinkle" in every single one of the pictures in Jase's eyes!  Oh how I LOVE our little boy!

THANK YOU JESUS that you have Jase in the palm of your hands, and that just you worked out EVERY single detail of making Jase part of our family, I KNOW that you will take care of every single detail of tomorrow, the next week, and the next month and a half.  THANK YOU JESUS for the GIFT and SHEER JOY of Jase!