Almost two weeks ago, I was having one of those very reflective mornings ...
God was purposefully reminding me of HIS FAITHFULNESS in my life. He was reminding me of the too many to count incidents where I (often with my feet dragging) stepped out in faith and obedience, and the end result, and pit stops along the way, were always full of MIRACLE after MIRACLE! He reminded me of how much my own heart had changed and how each time I've surrendered my own will to His, He stretched and grew my faith in priceless ways. Growth that at often times was painfully difficult, yet growth that I would not change for anything. I am still a daily work in progress, and on this side of eternity I know that will never change. Yet I am also a different person from the person I was 10 years ago, as a result of seeing Jesus do HIS THING time and time again in my own life (and that of my family)! And as a result of Jesus doing His thing IN ME time and time again.
God reminded me of that although my life looks NOTHING like the one "I" had planned for my life (the two kids life that I clutched on to with both hands), I am because of His faithfulness, living a life FULL OF BLESSINGS!! I am living a life that I wouldn't trade for anything! I am living a life WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY better than the one I had planned. It is amazing because my life with SEVEN jewels has exceeded my expectations on every level, even through the difficult!!
I think I've said this before ... I personally believe the following statement NOT to be true, "God doesn't give us more than we can handle." I actually believe that God intentionally gives us more than we can handle (if we let Him) so that we lean on Him, and that it is in the LEANING ON HIM that we can handle whatever life brings our way. God made us human, which by our design means that we NEED JESUS desparately, as we are flawed!
Okay, back to the morning ...
I was reflecting ...
which of course forced my heart to PRAISE & WORSHIP!!
And then I heard God ask me, "do you really trust me? After everything I've done for you. Will you do whatever I ask you to?"
Of course after Him having just reminded me of EVERYTHING He has done (and is still doing), of course my answer was "yes, Lord. My hands are wide open, they are no longer shut or cluthing on to MY plans. I will do whatever you ask, without knowing WHAT it is."
Well .. about 1/2 an hour later I received a phone call that immediately challenged the morning I had just had. It was Pastor Steve calling (one of the pastors at our church). He called to tell me that our family had received a GIFT. A person who wanted to remain anonymous had contacted the church about a GIFT that he/she wanted to give specifically to our family! Have you ever gotten a phone call like this before? I have not! I was shaking! I was speechless! I was humbled! I was on my knees, THANKFUL!!
Pastor Steve went on to say that the GIFT was a 15 passenger van!!
We were being gifted a FIFTEEN PASSENGER VAN!!!
We were being given a vehicle that seats FIFTEEN!!!
Are you getting it?? Are you getting why my heart initially went into PANIC as well as also feeling enormously THANKFUL, HUMBLED, and UNDESERVING! It was a 2006 15 passenger van that we were being given as a gift. We didn't have to do anything, i.e. work the hours to earn the income to buy it! We were being gifted it without expectation ... CRAZY AWESOME!! So AWESOME that someone would be so generous and kind, and use their God given resources to bless our family in such an incredible way!! WOW, God!!! Wow, faithful person who was loving us in such a HUGE HUGE HUGE tangible way!!
Back to the panic piece ...
Remember I had just told God that I would do WHATEVER He asked of me, and now through an enormously generous and kind person, He had gifted us a van that has room for SIX MORE JEWELS!!! LOL ... now =) BUT it did force me to once again ask myself, "would I REALLY do WHATEVER God asked me to do?" Clearly, I hadn't really worked out that answer as well as I thought I had! God also generally has not worked through "signs" in life, but rather through His directing and speaking. My panic is gone!! We feel so incredibly beyond words BLESSED through this extrememly generous and kind gift! We now have a vehicle that has room for FRIENDS ... which is awesome!! And now when we drive our 9 seater suburban we feel very much like sardines ... God is GOOD all the time!!
In talking with someone about feeling undeserving of the generous gift of the van, she said to me "but you are adopting ALL of these kids!" There was NO ill intention with the comment, bu the comment just didn't sit well with my heart. We did NOT adopt all of these kids. We adopted OUR kids!! Our bio kids AND our adopted kids are OUR kids, and we consider each one as an equal blessing and jewel! We don't adopt because we are trying to DO something great! We adopt humbly out of the extravagent LOVE that Jesus has given us!! For anyone out there who thinks we are doing something great ... let me tell you the TRUTH!! The raw truth is that through each one of our adopted jewels God has so richly blessed our lives, that although it might look like they are the ones who are rescued as they are no longer orphans, I feel like each time God has rescued me from myself (my own selfish and self-centered life plans) and there are no adequate words that could quite describe the blessing of that! And .. our kids are JEWELS ... they really are ... they are little persons each one with their own unique personalities, full of life and joy ... I could go on and on about this ... maybe another day!!
The kids call our new van, the "bus." LOL!
And LOL as driving a 15 passenger van was on my "I will never do list." I think that was the last item, I was still trying to hang on to! God surely has a sense of humor!!
Just for a good VISUAL ... here is our old van ... notice the size difference!
THANK YOU JESUS for our new bus!!
We love it and are so incredibly thankful for it!
THANK YOU generous doner, you will never fully know to the extent that this new gift has changed our lives (and not only met our need, but gone way above and blessed us richly)!
THANK YOU JESUS for the plans YOU have for my life, you deserve ALL of the PRAISES for all of the details of my life as I am simply saying, "YES LORD!"
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