"Mom," is a word that I get called several several several times a day.
However the other day when one particular jewel called me "mom" it so struck my heart. This wasn't the first time or anything like that, he has called me mom from almost immediately after he knew me as mom. It struck my heart that, "WOW I really am his mom and he adores me and I adore him back."
I remember the moment CLEARLY ... when I felt God call me to Jase.
Okay, it wasn't just one moment ... it was 3 repeated moments.
For 3 weeks in a row while at church, God brought Jase's specific face to my mind.
It was a face (Jase's face) that I had seen months prior as I was doing some research for an adoption ministry. Thankully God knows my heart and doesn't give up on me, but is persistatnt when it seems that I can't hear him OR more truthfully when I don't want to hear him.
I remember also so clearly being SO AFRAID of having 6 kids ...
AND NOW Jase is home, and he truly is a PRECIOUS JEWEL!
He is such a gift and I honestly cannot imagine my life without him!!
When I look at him I also think of the HUNDREDS of especially boys waiting in China's orphanages (or foster homes) ... WAITING for someone to claim them as their OWN. It BREAKS my heart on so many levels!! I wish that everyone who God called to take the huge leap of faith AND adopt, would listen to His voice and trust it. Many of these boys (and girls) will NEVER be adopted and will grow up and still be orphan, then being forced to fend for themselves as they are required to move out of the orphanges.
I want to point out though that I think NO adoption decision should be taken lightly. David Platt recently said while in China, "we don't adopt to rescue but because we were rescued." I fully agree with that. We are not trying to be superheros when we adopt, we are simply adopting out of the love that God has given us. Simultaneously and equally important we need to be upfront completely aware of the inherent difficulties of the adoption process (the paperchase is generally NOT the most difficult part), AND we need to enter into an adoption decision with our eyes FULLY open. We need to EXPECT our lives to be difficult when our children come home. Notice I didn't say we should expect our new child/children to be difficult, I said for "life to be difficult." I say that because sometimes yes the behavior can be difficult, but sometimes the most difficult part of an adoption journey is our own heart feelings and lack of attachment to our new child/children which can bring out the bad and ugly in all of us. ALL to say that for me even with everything I know about parenting, attachment, and child development ... I have been completely HUMBLED as a mom and person through out attachment and transition periods (sometimes which last for years) because of MY OWN YUCK. My advise would be that whatever your yuck is (if it with you personally or within your marital relationship or whatever it is), except it to surface when your new child/children come home. I know of marriages that have fallen apart as a result of the difficult ... we need to be completely realistic and prepared when we make the decision to adopt!
I am completely thankful for a God who loves me no matter.
And for my child who was the "most" difficult that she has come full circle and that she adores me and that I adore her back.
AND I am thankful that despite my own YUCK that God still sees me as worthy and capable of being the forever mom to His AMAZING JEWELS. Ohhh, be still my heart! How AWESOME is that! I truly am stoked that God thought I should be Jase's forever mom. AND I am so thankful for the truly remarkable GIFT that God gave me (and Sam) with pretty much immediate connection and attachment to our new son, we both 100% adore him and he honestly feels like he has always been a part of our family which is not the case he has only been home for almost 9 months now. And honestly this has been our easiest adoption attachment and transition (except for our babies, Bella and Kody) so we don't take it lightly that we attached so easily and immediately to Jase (SO AWESOME)!
And these days when Jase is behaving like Curious George in Curious George style I'm even that much more THANKFUL for the GIFT that we received through the connected and attached feelings we immediately felt (as I so know what the other feels like).
For SOME CRAZY reason our kids think we should adopt MORE children. I'm not sure where they get these ideas from as our family seems pretty FULL if you ask me (okay, completely full). Although I am thankful because it means they share the heart of our Creator. However when they bring it up I tell them that when they grow up THEY can adopt. I also tell them that if they are so passionate about it that maybe they should be telling other people (their friends, our friends) that they should adopt ... instead of mom and dad. So here is my forwarning to anyone who they might encourage in such a way ... =) Our kids are also passionate about adoption and I can't fully control WHAT they say or who they say it too =)
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