2011

It is interesting to me because when I think back to 2011 I immediately think what a wonderful year it was.  Which it was, but my life, and that of my family was also full of HUGE changes.  We added two children, one biologically, and one through adoption.  Enough said.

But why is it though that still when I think back, my brain is instantly flooded with images of blessings and not the difficult moments and times!

I went back and read my blog this time last year, and also interesting to me, I wrote about how difficult 2010 was.  That seems CRAZY to me, as we did not add any children in 2010.  We did however spent many months PAPERCHASING (for Jase) in 2010 and we had our unplanned pregnancy and miscarriage ... all major things.

Now, don't get me wrong when I think back to 2011 difficult memories also come to mind, like when I had to board the plane to leave my family for 2 weeks all by myself; when I was soo completely exhausted in China that I thought I couldn't carry on; when I was in China 3 months pregnant, spotting for an entire week without being able to see my doctor;  in May when it felt like I was going to have a literal breakdown because my life was too full because of a re-certification exam and other obligations I had to fulfill, Jase only being home for 2 months; in July when I held my new precious son in the hospital room as he laid in my arms in an enormous amount of pain; in August when I would crash at 6PM because of total exhaustion; the delivery room with Lillyana when her heart rate kept dropping and my blood pressure kept increasing; 3 weeks into Lillyana being born when I felt like I could not keep going on ...

There seemed to be a common theme with all of the difficult things that came to mind:  exhaustion!

The thing is though, that HONESTLY, those moments are not the things that immediately come to mind.  Instead the things that come to mind are:

1.  The PEACE that God gave as we waited the first few months of 2011 for our TA for Jase

2.  The immediate CONNECTION that God gave me with my new son in China

3.  The protection that God gave as I spent 2 weeks in China by myself with Jase, me FEELING His protection!

4.  The HUGE BLESSING that my Father gave all of us through Jase; he is amazing and we all so adore and love him

5.  The GIFT of a seamless transition and healthy attachment with Jase with all of us, again me really FEELING God's protection and Hand

6.  The provision that God gave that we somehow completed our adoption of Jase without debt, us having a couple of friends that HUGELY blessed us and partnered with us financially; us really feeling rallied around with our adoption of Jase, without us even having to utter a word about our need (us also getting a couple of small grants ... HUGE PRAISES)

7.  The gift of all of us being able to be a part of my sister's wedding, and the answer to my prayers for years as my sister married a man who adores her and adores the King of the Universe

8.  The enormous gift that God gave of Jase being able to get his surgery done fairly soon after being home, Jase's speech improving significantly after the surgery

9.  A wonderful summer that God so protected,  full of playing outside in God's creation, despite being 8-9 mos pregnant, and despite or new son

10.  A healthy pregnancy, where I really felt great

11.  The huge protection that God provided over Lillyana's birth and delivery

12.  Our new sweet baby girl, she is also so amazing and we all so adore and love her

13.  The gift of my one year maternity leave and being able to be home with my babies

14.  The gift of our "bus" (15 passenger van) given anonymously to our family
15.  The amazing really, medical miracle, of our Faith now being able to hear with her new hearing aids and FM

16.  God's financial provision as we've been living without my income, raising 7 children

17.  God's constant faithfulness and real FELT presence through every situation of 2011

I could go on and on, but those are the highlights ...

I could talk about how much I adore my husband &  how in 2011 I truly fell even more in love with him ...

I could talk about each one of our 7 jewels and truly the sacred gift of each one ...

I cold talk about ... SO MUCH!!!

My reality, I have been given SO MUCH, and truly in 2011 I felt God's incredible blessings, despite many very difficult situations.  The greatest blessings that my Father gave me in 2011 (aside from our 2 new precious jewels), were the blessings He gave me by guiding and directing my steps, and by giving me the peace, faith, hope, and joy that I needed (which shouts to me the evidence of my Creator, because I think without Him, 2011 could have turned out very differently).

I am one blessed daughter of the King of the Universe, and He loves me (and you) so much, when I'm a sobbing mess on the floor and when my hands are raised high in worship to Him ...

THANK YOU JESUS for your faithfulness in 2011 in my life!!

(Two of my favorite pictures of 2011 as they were both taken fairly soon after the after the 2 new precious jewels God entrusted to us)

P.S.  I re-read my post and just wanted to clarify in case there was any confusion, my life with my jewels and hubby was and is not perfect in 2011 (nor will it ever be) as I'm so far from perfect and so are they, we are all flawed and consequently that makes for natural consequential difficult situations.  We also still face attachment related struggles (their and our personalities playing a role too) with a couple of our jewels that are not new jewels, that we will probably be dealing with for a long time.  And we did also have transition difficulties with Jase, I just feel like we handled them (we being Sam and I) way better than we have in the past with our other non-baby adoptions.  And my faith was not perfect either, I questioned and resisted God's leadings plenty of times, me often being completely absorbed with myself instead of Him) ... but STILL despite that I am a flawed being living in a fallen world, 2011 truly was a wonderful year.