These days, life is extremely good, blessed, and hard all at once. Working part-time and being mom to seven precious jewels keeps my time and heart extremely busy. Add on the HIGH level of trauma at work and the low level of trauma that we still process and walk through with a couple of our jewels at home can leave for one very exhausted and tired mamma.
The thing is though. I wouldn't have it any other way because I KNOW that I am exactly where I'm supposed to be and that I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing.
My own new and big prayer for the past several months and the next several months has been and is that God protect my own heart. I started praying this several months before returning to work, as I sensed my Father directing my heart that I would need to make sure that I was on the alert for Him with everything. At every level life is full and I know that I cannot do it on my own and that I need my Father to continously protect and renew my heart.
Sam and I try to keep life simple these days, our involvements being minimal. I also try to daily build in down time, time where nothing is required of me and where I can do whatever I want (even if only for half an hour). It helps that our jewels are overall good sleepers and that they have early bed times. Sam and I have always had early bedtimes, it has helped hugely through the years with our own marriage and with our own mental health.
I get a lot of question about how I do it, be a mom to 7, and yes the working outside the home usually throws people for a bigger loop (which I sometimes wish they would be kind about). I don't feel like I do it - I feel like Sam AND I do it. But I also feel even more than that, THAT GOD DOES IT. God has every detail of our lives taking care of, including our hearts. He is the one who we wait on and who fills us up, restores us, and renews us. And I feel like we are living the life we are supposed to, and so because of that, I'm trusting my Father for EVERY single detail (including daily strength and energy).
I think about the last several months and my heart is in complete AWE of my Father. There are so many prayers that have been answered and so many details that He has worked out that have so hugely exceeded my expecations. There are so many details that I forgot to pray about that He already had covered. I love that, that God cares about every single detail of our lives. I don't think I stop enough to really reflect upon that, and to really praise Him for it.
My reality is that I'm just an ordinary person trying to life out the life that my Father, Creator, and King has ordained for me to live. How cool is that. That God has a PLAN for each one of our lives, if we submit our will to His and surrender our plans for His.
People love to ask both Sam and I IF we are done having children.
The honest truth is how in the world are we supposed to answer that.
That is not the way our life plans or our faith work.
We don't know what our future holds, only our Father knows.
We DO know though, that we WILL do whatever He asks of us.
So, if He asks us to add one more precious jewel - we WILL.
We trust Him enough to do that, even if it seems totally contrary to what we would plan.
The new year is almost upon us; what will it hold? Only God knows. I do pray though, that for both you and me that it does hold us trusting our Father with every situation that He presents to us, and that we say YES to whatever He asks.
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