I think the reason why I don't blog so much anymore is that I feel like I don't have too much to say that I haven't already said. My passions and convictions continue to remain the same same, actually they continue to grow as the years go by.
I still believe passionately that God has a plan and a purpose for each one of us - and that His heart for each one of us is that we live out our God designed life in carpe diem style. I still believe in wholeheartedly knowing and loving JESUS!
I am still super passionate about adoption, orphan care, living simply so that others may simply live, and being the hand and feet of Jesus to the least of these here in the US and across the globe. I still fully believe in TBRI parenting (mixed in with some love and logic principles) and with our own successes and failures continue to parent this way - us continuing to see it heal and work!
I clearly could go on and on ... as I just happen to have lots of passions.
The other reason as to why I don't blog as much anymore is because often by the end of the days my own heart is honestly so empty that I don't feel like I have much to share. This week alone I had two CPS (child protective services) incidents, one which left my heart reeling for days, the end result being me being in a puddle all over the floor.
The new year has come and gone, and although I'm working on making some small improvements I haven't taken the time to really be reflective (which I usually do and really want to do). Sam and I are both working on retuning our finances and our bodies - although we did start that before the new year even started.
I think the thing that God keeps putting on my heart for 2013 is TO PRESS IN ... to Him!! Although I feel like I am in a constant state of conversing with my Father, I also feel like I easily let things of this world (food, TV, friends, family) fill me up when I'm empty instead of really pressing in to Him. So I think that is my New Years Resolution, that is one thing I really want to work on in 2013. I want my Father to be the one who fully restores me when I'm broken and empty.
For me that means being more saturated in and by His word.
That might seem like an unusual goal, but my reality is that with the work that I do my heart is often in a constant state of being broken. Although I feel like I have awesome boundaries and that I do a lot of great self care, drug addictions, physical and sexual abuse, neglect, serious mental health problems, and domestic violence never gets easy for my heart to handle. People often think that things like that don't happen in our seemingly perfect little town. The reality is they happen everywhere, and are not discriminant of race, income, or any other factor that some might think.
My other reality and many of our realities, is that regardless of how our wonderful our children are, or how many we have - we (me) are often spent by the end of the day. Although my job as a school counselor is extremely difficult at times (these days most days) - I honestly think my job as a mom is much harder as I with all of me want to be the BEST mom that I can possibly be.
So I think my goal of pressing in yes connects with my work, but also just really connects with me wanting to live my own personal best for Jesus. It is a difficult balance living in this world, but not being of the world. So awesome days and difficult days, I want to make sure that I am pressing in to my Father, Creator, and King!
(Our pastor recommended making goals really specific, i.e. setting a goal of doing quiet times for 20 minutes 5X a week. I love that - being super specific when it comes to our goals - and so I've done that with all of the different goals that I'm working on).
May your 2013 be blessed already, and may it also be already fulled of moments of you pressing in to Jesus!!!
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