Have you ever done something and felt like Jesus immensely blessed it?
About a couple of months ago I had the sacred privilege to speak at an adoption conference, called The Refresh Conference at Overlake Church in Seattle. This year was the second year of it's operation, about 500 people attending the conference. I had talked with the leaders last summer and had agreed to talk about "Being a Multi-Cultural and Multi-Racial Family." This is something which I'm highly passionate about and love to teach about in my school counseling job - it is my current unit and I love it. This is also something which I have really invested in for our family even before we had our first child, as diversity training was a huge part of my graduate degree. I have talked about this topic before to adoptive families but it was the first time where I was able to devote an entire 50 minutes to the topic. I was STOKED to say the least.
I started preparing to speak at the beginning of January, and fairly quickly came up with what I wanted to share ... doing some research, using past ideas, and then developing a power point presentation. I was excited to be ready in advance as you can imagine my life is sometimes a juggling act. And that's when I got the call. Amazing and sweet Michele called and asked if I was still able to talk about TBRI and our own experiences. I had mentioned this to her many months previously, not because I had wanted to, but because I had really felt the Holy Spirit say that I needed to at least make myself available to talk about this. I was trained by TCU last year and TBRI truly has been life giving for our family, yet still there has been this resistance in me to actually do trainings about it where I was the sole speaker. As SOON as Michelle said it I KNEW this was what I was also SUPPOSED to do. Both Sam and I knew this would take hours for me to prepare and that this would put a lot of extra pressure on all of us for me to get ready (as I tend to over prepare) but we both instantly knew I was supposed to do it ... so I said YES.
And so I spent hours preparing and really investing, without any expectations of the outcome. God and I were constantly in conversations about which part specifically He wanted me to talk about, as truly I could have spent days talking about TBRI and our family's experiences. I felt God give me direction and clarity and I continued to get ready, fully trusting Him.
On my speaking day I still had really no idea of what to expect. The night before of general session speakers had been AMAZING, God has spoken directly to my heart through each one of them. The worship had also been sooooooooooooooooo wonderful, which really is an understatement. Debortah Gray was one of the main speaker that morning and she too of course was PHENOMENAL. I truly feel so incredibly BLESSED to have attended trainings put on by both Deborah Gray and Dr. Purvis!! Two friends (Melissa and Stephanie) were also at the Conference with me, and I have to say that I was incredibly thankful not just for the laughs, talks and their friendship but I was also so thankful for their support and help. They helped me set up in both of the rooms, they cheered me on, and they really rocked!
I remember praying that morning, "okay God, this is ALL for you. If you have some greater purpose in this than what I'm prepared for, i.e. if you want me to completely fail at this ... I trust You." I have talked several times before to adoptive families and church leaders but somehow this felt like a bigger deal. Thankfully that was not His purpose through my talks, instead I feel like He BLESSED them.
I've thought a lot about those two 50+ minute talks and I feel a lot like the little boy who brought Jesus his 2 fish and 5 loaves. I feel like I gave my Jesus EVERYTHING I had but that my everything was SOO little BUT that my Jesus TOOK what I brought AND BLESSED IT. That is the best way for me to describe how I think the conference went. My Jesus BLESSED it.
The number of people who attended my breakout sessions way exceeded any expectations I had. In both of the rooms almost every seat was taken and in the second session I ran out of handouts. I remember walking into the second room and I actually laughed out loud. The room was huge and it was comical to me that they had put me in such a big room. A few minutes later pretty much every seat was taken and I had to use a microphone to talk as there was no way that I could project my voice to the back of the room.
I received lots of positive feedback from people who came and talked to me afterwards, two of which especially stood out as they spoke exactly to the intentions of my heart. For the multi-cultural family talk one couple came up and shared how they were still in the beginning stages of starting an adoption process and how they were thankful for my talk as it made them realize how "white" their lives were and how they would need to make lots of changes before they brought home a child. For the second talk someone came up and told me she appreciated my talk because there was so much "hope" in my presentation.
I feel honored and humbled that God choose to use me in the ways that He did. I also feel incredibly thankful that He guided, directed, and protected my heart as I prepared to speak and on the day of speaking. If you had told me when I was just a little girl learning how to speak English (at the age of 11) that I would one day be talking in front of 100+ people about parenting children with trauma I would REALLLLLLLLLLLLY not have believed you.
If truth be told I totally enjoyed it. I really did! For years I have love teaching children but have had no idea until a couple of years ago that I would love teaching adults as much as I do! God has been revealing this to me throughout the last few years and EACH time I get up and talk He continues to confirm this to me.
THANK YOU Jesus for your guidance, direction, and protection!
Thank you for taking my two fish and five loaves of bread and blessing them, using me for your purposes and YOUR GLORY!! I feel honored and humbled!
Comments