Our back to school schedules and routines have started and being a family of 9 we have literally in every sense of it's meaning, "hit the ground running." Things are extremely busy and honestly painful on different levels as well.
As much as I do enjoy my job (which I actually do a lot and am so thankful for that I do), I'm grieving the loss of being able to be home with the kids with our primary focusing being connection and play. Our life is so much simpler without all of the demands of school, work, and extra curricular activities.
My job is also so incredibly busy + the busyness of our family, that my heart, body, and mind are having a bit of a hard time keeping up ... I'm crashing (literally) very early every night.
None of my kids are super stoked about being back at school and the consequences of that for our family are tired and crabby kids.
Although I KNOW and FEEL God having my heart and that of my kids, and I have to say that I'm so incredibly thankful for His presence and provision, even in the midst of the busyness and hard.
I also just have to mention that my husband is a superhero of a husband and dad - and I'm SO thankful that we "do" our parenting and family together, where our roles criss-cross all the time, them not being strictly defined but more so defined by the needs within our family.
None of these things are what I originally wanted to post about ... all to say that in the midst of our crazy first couple of weeks back to school God is RIGHT NOW performing a miracle. It would take lots of details and time to really be able to explain the extent of the miracle, that perhaps at the end of the day, some might still not be able to grasp the magnitude of what is happening.
Our one particular jewel who has had the highest amount of trauma, and who has struggled for forever with feeling safe at school ... has for the FIRST time ever expressed feeling safe at school within her classroom. She is beginning to experience "felt safety" at school and it is beyond words amazing, worth crying happy tears for days over, and worth a huge celebration (which I think we actually will have here at the end of the month).
It is a miracle that unless you fully understand trauma, felt safety, and school anxiety you might not ever fully understand.
It is something I've prayed about and honestly worried about throughout the summer (and for years although I never fully understood it's depth of impact on our daughter until last year). It was something that in years past required me to help regulate my daughter on a daily basis before and after school ... exhausting for both her and I, and everyone else in our family.
I have to say that my heart is still in shock at how AMAZINGLY WELL the school year is going. God in all of His Glory, started worked out the details regarding this miracle before the school year even started ... and as I honestly reflect back I can see how has God has used each one of my daughter's teachers as she truly has been gifted with great teachers.
This year's teacher is no exception and is actually one of those super star kind of teachers, you know the ones who are in their own leagues. She is phenomenal and I'm already blown away at the ways God is using her ...
Soooooooooooo worth blogging about ... God is performing yet another miracle within our family. Am I expecting some setbacks, absolutely. That is the nature of trauma, two steps forward and one step back, five steps forward and two steps back ... I fully understand and realize that. Yet simultaneously I SEE God bringing my daughter to another level of healing and I'm stoked, blown away, and so incredibly thankful.
PRAISES to our Creator, Father, and King, who cares so deeply about each one of our children, and about all of us as well.
PRAISES to our Creator, Father, and King who walks with us during the difficult, gives us strength when we feel like we have none, wipes away our tears, and helps us raise up like eagles ...
God soooooooooo has been putting this verse on my heart lately ....
Isaiah 40:31
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
I praise Him for the strength that He not only gives me, but also the strength He gives my children!
(I neglected to mention that I now have a middle schooler, one 4th grader, two 3rd graders, and my Kody is now a kindergartner ...wowsers!!)
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