"I have no words to say
Don’t know what I should pray
God, I need You
tears fill up my eyes
But I will trust You
Whatever comes my way
You have taught me to say
Amen, let Your kingdom come
Amen, let Your will be done
And through the rise and fall
You’re God above it all
When I can barely stand
You strengthen me again
I will seek You
Though troubles are arising
My hands reach to the skies
I will praise You"
We go back and forth between "feeling" incredible courage and
strength to "feeling" completely overwhelmed and exhausted. The doctors appointments are too many. The feelings of worry by our jewels is too much. Our own fears are too unbearable at times. The time away from work for both of us makes it too demanding when we are there. The day to day of simultaneously keeping up a house, cooking meals, homework, activities that everyone is involved with, all the while attempting to nurture 9 jewels is too much in the midst of walking out cancer. A future that is defined by unknowns is beyond what we can process at times.
People ask us "how we are doing" or "how we are doing it all?"
The truth is we are not doing it, Jesus is, Jesus is carrying us. Jesus deserves all the credit and all the glory.
I'm thankful I don't know the details of the future, as I'm pretty confident I would not be able to handle it. I'm thankful that one year ago ago when God called us to Jax, He then didn't give us the details of what would unfold when we said "yes Jesus, we will trust you."
Would I take back any of the last year, no. Would I do it all again, yes! Am I thankful God called us to Jax, yes. Is my Savior faithful, yes.
Is Jesus worth our obedience and total surrender. Yes. Is He worth our every ounce of all of us. A resounding yes. All I have to do is look at the CROSS and I fall on my knees. We weren't called to live a life surrendered to self, were we!!
Is Jax worth every tear, every fear, every ounce of energy, every resource ... absolutely, 100%, not a shadow of a doubt, yes!! This jewel is awesome ya'll and truly is a sacred gift given to me by my Father!
I often feel like I'm just along for the ride, as Jesus truly is doing IT ALL!! All Sam and I did was say yes!
This picture speaks to my own heart of the preciousness of this jewel that God has given to Sam and I. Jax loves to crawl into our bed and loves to climb up right on top of me and snuggle right into me. This was what he was doing a few mornings ago, me grabbing a selfie in an attempt to save the moment.
148 million orphan jewels waiting ya'll!!
I pray that WHATEVER God is asking you to do today, that you will say yes. I pray that He continue to give both you and me, the capacity for faith,
and His grace to help us get there.
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