This time last year we were paper chasing to bring home our sweet Jewlia. We had started the process for her in January when God opened our eyes and declared to us, "she is yours." The process in our hearts started months and even years earlier as God planted seeds in our hearts, spoke His plans, and stirred our hearts.
Then on that day in January we were ready to hear our Father's voice. We were excited and scared, yet we knew that we could handle one more. God had so tremendously blessed us, why wouldn't we adopt one more. We felt so loved by God, we wanted to adopt out of that love.
We also knew we would have about another year to get ready before Jewlia came home, which calmed our hearts. Fastforward to a year ago April when we had just began to process for a "medical expedite" for Jax, Jewlia also getting to come home quickly as the result of being a "tag along." That is the technical term in the adoption paper work world.
We were excited and scared. We knew and know trauma very well and yet we didn't know all of the traumas our Jewlia had already suffered. We knew she was from an orphanage of 300 kids. That was enough to make our hearts pause and our stomachs turn. THREE HUNDRED orphaned jewels in one building!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We were determined however to do our BEST for our new jewels. We re-read up on our TBRI parenting and reflected on our past experiences.
We didn't know what would unfold but made a full fledged commitment to each other that we were going to do everything within our power to help our jewels build felt safety. We knew this was paramount, even over attachment. We knew we would have to work 24/7 to show our jewels that they were safe with us, that we were going to meet their needs, and that we would listen when they talked and respond with nurturing action. We wanted them to know that we thought they were PRECIOUS!!! So agreed upon the following things with each other.
1. We were going to have ZERO expectations of our new jewels, in regards to behavior, development, likes and dislikes ...
2. We were going to say YES as much as possible to them 24/7, like I'm talking 99.9% of the time.
3. We were going to full force do Investment parenting. We were going to simply our life and make sure we are the primary nurtures of all things. No ifs or buts with our other jewels or other loved ones. We knew that we didn't invest on the front end at some point we would have to. We knew this would go on for months and months, possibly even years as just because a child "seems" like they are doing fine does not mean they
are.
4. We were going to not make food an issue but instead as an opportunity for continuous nurture throughout the day. This meant we were going to let our new jewels eat whatever they wanted.
Well in the middle of June, on a late Sunday afternoon we got to meet our sweet Jewlia for the first time. And let me tell you that even from the very beginning, in the midst of her tears and mine, I knew right away that we were given the most amazing jewel!! The felt safety, attachments, and transition process that followed was pretty seamless (although don't forget we prepped lots and DID lots and still DO).
She was and is awesome ya'll!!! She is kind, loving, thoughtful, smart, compassoate, brave, fun, sweet, helpful, creative, determined, affectionate, and truly remarkable!!! Can you tell, I think she is awesome!!! We actually all do!! We all adore her!!
I don't talk about her enough as we are always so focused on walking out our cancer journey with Jax. But make no mistake, both Jax and Jewlia are equally wonderful, amazing, and true gifts!!! Our Father richly blessed us with BOTH of them!!
I'm so glad we said YES to both of them as I cannot imagine my life without either one of them. My heart is fully bonded with both of theirs and was pretty quickly after meeting them. They had my heart and still do. I totally adore them and think the world of them.
So today I celebrate and PRAISE my Jesus for the sacred GIFT of Jewlia. Today she turns FOUR!!! My baby is four!! I know it hasn't even been a year since I've been my sweet Jewlia's mom but honestly it feels like I've had her since she was a baby.
Happy Birthday to my sweet girl!!! Praise Jesus with me for her!!! And I can't help but "mention" that there are so many more PRECIOUS orphaned jewels RIGHT now waiting for their forever families!! They are waiting for someone to "see them and say YES." Honestly, I don't get why there are still orphans in the world. I don't understand why there isn't more families for all of the waiting jewels, why families are not the ones waiting versus the orphans.
💙 Maria
Comments