I wanted to update everyone of the latest. The phone calls with doctors are many, on this Monday them finalizing the rest of the details.
As of today, on Tuesday May 3 Jax is scheduled to have a line/port put in. This is an over nighter procedure. On Thursday May 5, Jax will have his eye removed. If everything goes well this is two nights at the hospital where Lord willing we will get to go home on Saturday, May 7. If everything goes well with the eye removal, Jax is scheduled to start chemo on Monday May 9. This date will forever be etched in my heart as this will start the 6-8 month journey of Jax having to be at Children's or close by Children's for the entire time.
This is also our beautiful oldest, Bella's birthday. She will be 14.
We are BLOWN away and completely overwhelmed by so many of your support. Words don't seem suffice, thank you, and know that every act of kindness (big and small) is making an impact on our hearts, is meeting tangible needs, and is giving us the strength to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Although it's incredibly humbling, we have friends starting a GoFund page and other friends coordinating things such as meals and laundry. We also have friends taking over the t-shirts that I designed, with the input of others. Here's what it will look like.
I'm not going to sugar coat this, it is beyond hard. As I process and grieve what is about to happen, I find myself often in a literal puddle of tears on the floor. During the last 24 hours I can't help but think about my other 8 jewels and all that they are going to be forced to walk out. I also keep thinking about how I'm going to miss being a mom to my 8 other jewels for 6-8 months, about all the moments I'm not going to get to be a part of. I end up being sobbing mess. It took all in me to not cry on a cashier today, the tears pretty much come without much warning.
Then when I think about all that my little boy is going to go through, how much his little body will have to fight, there are few words. Instead my feelings are big and many, and so are the tears.
God is using so many of you to give both Sam and I strength, courage and peace. When I start to doubt my strength, a look into my sweet boy's face who so adores me renews my focus. He needs us to be brave and strong for him. He deserves all of us, our Father has entrusted him to us. He is a gift!! I'm relying on my Jesus for strength as I 100% know I don't have it on my own.
All the things of this earth don't seem to have much significance with all that we are walking. Having an eternal perspective is my main hope at this point.
With there being so many unknowns ahead of us, we have also decided to have both Jewlia and Jax dedicated this Sunday at the 9AM service at NCCTK.
Thank you to all of you who pray for us on a regular basis as God is using your prayers to carry us.
💙 Maria
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