In two sleeps we are all flying to California. It feels surreal, like it's not happening (REALLY, all 11 of us are going on another trip!!). It feels surreal, that we got here (3 months later of Jax clearing every cancer test). In January when we went to the GIVE THE KIDS THE WORLD VILLAGE in Florida and had the MOST epic trip ever, the blessings overflowing, fun defining every moment, with healing being laced throughout everything we did, we received something called a "passport." In the passport there were listed lots of different places that we could ALL go to for FREE once in the next year. On there was Lego Land, San Diego Safari, San Diego Zoo, Six Flax and many other places. Thank you to ALL of these places who have partnered so generously with Make a Wish!!!
Sam and I spent time in prayer about whether this was something we could or should do. We decided that we would make the next year about INTENTIONAL FUN AND INTENTIONAL HEALING. We would take ANY OPPORTUNITY given and we would intentionally plan things for our kids. What our family has walked during the last year and a half has been beyond hard, there are few words to really describe it. All of our kids have had to walk out things kids shouldn't have to walk out, Jax fighting literally for his life, all of us fighting along with him. If you ask our kids what the hardest part they will tell you how it was that either mom or dad was gone, all the time. I spent very little time with my kids during this time, spending it mostly with Jax either inpatient at Seattle Children's or in the Seattle area. There was too much trauma, and quite honestly for so many of our jewels they've already endured too much trauma (from early histories of neglect, reject, change and loss issues). Typically with any jewel that becomes an orphan, there is tremendous tragedy, loss, and trauma that occurs. Our kids have already walked out more than most adults do in their life time. They are all heroes in my mind, as they all have over come so much, too much.
So we decided that we would go to CALIFORNIA for a week as a family, and we leave in TWO SLEEPS. Disney World was SOOOO AMAZING for all of us, it beginning a healing process in all of our jewels. Our jewels also did amazing on the flight and on the trip, and so we decided it would be fun and purposeful to do it again. We found flights for $112 each, a low priced rental that accommodates all of us that is walking distance to the beach, and shopped around and found a great deal on a car (big van) rental. Thank you Jesus for your provision with all of these. In part, quite honestly, I went back to work just so we could afford to go to California. I'm now working two days a week. The way we view it is, we could either be paying for therapy or we could be paying for therapeutic intentional play. We clearly choose the latter, SUN AND WARM WEATHER here we come!
In January when we planned this trip, I have to admit that there was a thought that I had, that is difficult not to have when we've walked what we've walked. I thought, what if Jax's cancer comes back before the trip and we don't get to go. That was three months ago, our JAX IS STILL CANCER FREE!!! Jax's last MRI and spinal tap both came clean for cancer. His next spinal tap is the day we get back from Disney World, his next MRI is May 4. Over and over again, Jesus has whispered to my heart that "I've got this Maria, I've got Jax." This and and my Jesus's felt presence are the ONLY things that give me peace as we wait for test results.
I have to say too, that the healing that begun in our kids in Disney World continued once home. We've seen Jesus either restore or begin to restore them, depending on the jewel. Sam and I work incredibly hard on this FOR THEM, this is our highest priority, and right now our highest calling. We want to more than anything as a family not just survive, but get back to a place of thriving. Thriving for Jesus, declaring His goodness, miracles, hope, and faithfulness. We have a good good Father who sees us in everything we are doing and loves us, no matter what. No matter the ordinary, the falling flat on our face, the hard, the desperate moments for Him ... He sees us and loves us (period).
Despite how incredibly difficult the last year and a half has been, God in the midst of it has brought me closer to Himself, and has revealed things about Himself that can perhaps only happen in the midst of walking out life and death issues. That I am so thankful for, and will for all of eternity. I truly do have a renewed deep anchored respect for life. Our time on earth y'all is just a stepping stone. We are but a vapor. Every day we should be fixing our eyes on eternity, instead of trying to plan for the 80-90 years we are alive here on earth. We are daughters and sons of the King of the UNIVERSE who right now is planning eternity for us. We were not meant to build earthly castles for ourselves, as our Father is building them for us right now in Heaven. I think we as North American Christians "think" we have our eyes fixed on Heaven, when really we don't. The evidence speaks to the contrary, as there are still unsaved people, orphans, people going hungry, not clean water for all, a lack of belief in the impossible and the miraculous that can only be done by the a God that has no limits ... God has "things" and details that He has CALLED each one of us to. Are we living out that calling? Do we know what it is? Are you? Am I? These are questions I'm asking my Jesus as of late. He's answering them, and renewing His calling for my life during this next season of life.
More than anything in my life, when I stand before Jesus I want to hear my Jesus say, "well done, good and faithful steward. You were faithful to what I CALLED YOU TO!"
2 sleeps going to California ... to PLAY WTH OUR JEWELS!!! Wohooooo! Thank you Jesus!
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